Highly Critical

Ever since the United Kingdom colonized the masses, white Europeans declared their customs and cultural traditions as the default setting. By doing so, they established other ways of life as savage and barbaric. This included what society determined to be attractive. After the kidnapping of Africans, the forced assimilation of the Natives, and immigration from around the world, the hierarchy of whiteness was challenged. There were women and femmes from nonwhite backgrounds that established beauty in their culture who threatened the social rank of European features. In an act of defense of white supremacy, conventional beauty standards were created. Thin nose, thin lips, thin frame, and thin, fine textured hair was publicly admired. Decades later, the rise of racially mixed and ambiguous people, coupled with the rise of social media and the body positivity movement, has encouraged ethnic features to be recognized as beautiful. This inclusion has created the opportunity for differe...

"Do you know the difference between pain and suffering? Pain is always there because life is freakin' painful - but suffering is a choice." When Tiffany, the black-haired drug addict from Orange is the New Black (OITNB) spoke those words, a dark veil had been lifted from my eyes. Like a spark of electricity that lit up a row of street lamps on a dark cloudy night, I realized that I was the victim of suffering, instead of pain. I was watching season four on a humid day, right after I was abused by my boyfriend at the time. It was my first "committed" relationship, so I didn't understand how toxic it was. He broke my possessions, cheated and lied to me, and would hit me whenever I tried to find my voice to complain. I thought this is a part of love, surviving the rocky waves to get to calmer waters. Just a few hours prior, I used my boyfriend's phone to call my dad (he smashed my cell to bits in an argument) and I saw texts between him and a...

Remember when you were a little kid and you saw a classmate taking a nap during class? Feeling envious, you lay your head down on your desk and close your eyes. Suddenly the teacher taps you on the shoulder and reprimands you for not paying attention. "But so and so was sleeping during class!" I don't know if it's a part of black culture, but many of us have heard our parents/authority figures respond, "Don't be a tattletale. I caught you so you're being held responsible." The rush of anger would take over as so and so smugly smiles, satisfied that they got away with it. I've always been anal about fairness and justice so I would simmer. "If the first person escaped punishment, then so should I." This pattern repeated itself throughout schooling and my interactions with people. It even reared its ugly head as a defensive mechanism in the context of social justice. After I read and personally observed a lot of microaggr...

For those who aren't categorized as fat, the act of wearing shorts on a hot, humid day is insignificant. It's a normal choice, made plenty of times in the pursuit of comfort or style. Yet for those of us who are plus size, carrying more weight than society has deemed acceptable, it's an act of revolutionary joy and self-acceptance. There's a particular pair of purple gym shorts, I've had since I was in the 9th grade, that was designated as "house" clothes. In my enclosure, safe from the judgemental and prying eyes of the public, I was free to wear anything that tickled my fancy. Short shorts and tank tops were no stranger to me, as long as I stayed inside. Personally, I prefer wearing as little clothing as possible (since clothing on my body is typically restrictive and abrasive). I appreciated how these tight shorts barely cover my butt and rose high enough to meet my belly button. Despite that, I'd clutch my invisible pearls at the mere idea of...

As children we watch and learn the power dynamics in the home between ourselves and our parents. We observe who is to be respected and who has the authority to punish and reward us. Kids learn what phrases and what behavior classifies as disrespectful or appropriate. People learn that dependency on others forces us to sacrifice our self-respect and sometimes our self-esteem. A classic concept that most parents pass down is the notion that independence equals freedom. We are bound to our providers’ will and must comply with their orders until we gain self sufficency . This dynamic is often the conservative reasoning for classism: the opposition to government welfare programs. It’s also the justification for financial abuse. Above all, we are forced to give up our humanity in order to survive. As the dominated, the option of this barter system was never provided. This aspect is essentially what’s morally wrong with racism and sexism. The victim of this dynamic is subjected to the me...

Am I dead? A ghost, specter, or spirit? Am I a fallen tree alone in the forest? Why is my pain currency? When I shout, do I not make a sound? In my head, do I not think? In my heart, do I not dream? Do my eyes and ears deceive me? Do sticks not sharpen into arrows? Or stones into blunt weaponry? Freedom of speech over speech of freedom, demanding progression and accountability I'm tired of walking down a one lane road Paying gratefulness and humility as my toll I'll never settle for 3/5ths Second class doesn't suit me I've never been fond of crumbs Or pennies left on the ground Although my bootstraps broke cus mama couldn't afford stronger shoes I'll find the strength to stand  And continue to demand what I'm due

Strolling along the overpass With the Queen of Maggots Looking down at the rushing river Of gears and exhaust She slows her pace, reaches out to gently grab my hand I glance at her watching the ebb and flow below Curious, I take a peek At the hypnotic current Enticing me to join in It looks so calm, so peaceful I want, no, need it Like a plane of glass between the homeless And designer brand names So close but completely out of reach She grins at my yearning “It’s so simple, one leg over then the other… then whoosh.” My heart aches, my limbs paralyze “Not today my friend. The sun shines strong and my body is able.” Her smile rotates 180 degrees “Perhaps next time?” I nod, “Perhaps.”

A furnace lies at the pit of my stomach Blaring noises, condescension, passive aggression fuels it Hotter and hotter Until the heat rises up And boils over my tongue Shaping it thin and sharp Hitting targets with stunning accuracy Blood fills the streets

“The W.S. Nationalite Museum closes in one hour. Please make sure to visit your favorite exhibits before closing. Specialty exhibits that require tickets will shut down in 30 minutes. Thank you and enjoy your stay.” Shemaiah and Marita collectively rolled their eyes at the overheard speaker announcement. Both artists typically looked forward to scoping out historical artifacts and renowned artwork for inspiration but today was different. After strolling through the abstract and contemporary sections, dominated by Wassily Kandinsky and Van Gogh respectively, the women were getting bored. Every piece of art felt like what they saw in art school, each artist on display seemed like a distant relative that appeared annually. The duo came across the ornate metal section of the building. The design of the silver against the emeralds and rubies on a vase just outside the opening caught Marita’s eye. “Come on,” Marita grabbed Shemaiah’s wrist firmly. “Let’s check out what the coloni...

Imagine being a victim of Stockholm syndrome, where you fall in love with your abuser. People try to warn you. Friends and family have distanced themselves from you. Your dependency on your "lover" grows and festers until you don't know who you are anymore. You find yourself tolerating and excusing treatment that you never have before, not out of love but fear. The worse thing that you can think of is losing your captor. Then you be forced to be alone and confront your feelings of worthlessness and need to be desired. This is a snapshot of life as a Pick Me, a woman who has internalized misogyny. Pick Me's may not even see herself as a pick me. They see themselves as different from those 'gold digging hoes' that men complain about. They refrain from engaging "toxic femininity". Pick Me's live a lifestyle that men have deemed appropriate for "good housewives" an effort to find a husband. Some of them succeed then go on to champion the ...

In the era of "Be nice for what?" and ultimate pettiness, people often forget about death reaction and legacy. I always notice how people respond when the news crew interviews the neighbors and family members of the recently deceased. "So and so was so nice, they were the nicest person in the entire class." "I remember one time it was raining and they took the shirt off their back just to keep me dry." "They were the sweetest, most loving, most considerate person in the family." "They were my favorite coworker, they brought cookies and sunshine into the office every single day." Perhaps the good really do die young. But the bad will always surface on social media, where death reaction and legacy lives forever. Empathy or emotional intelligence transcends politics. The way you treat people matters. It will always come back to haunt you. Someone may not remember the details of what happened but they will remember how you made th...

How absolutely peculiar it would be if we saw a Venn diagram of blue lives matter supporters and the people who unnecessarily call the cops. How close would it be to a regular circle? It’s pretty astounding that someone could claim that the police are always justified in their actions yet also call them for absolutely ridiculous reasons. As far as I can remember, 911 was for emergencies or when a crime is committed. When did black people become emergencies or criminals? When did law enforcement become the state-sanctioned exterminator to save white people from black people? One common thread I noticed in each story mentioned is the lack of comfort of white people, leading them to call law enforcement. Perhaps they have mistaken their feelings for suspicions and they have no intentions of harming minorities. Maybe the callers just wanted to be on the safe side and expected the police to handle it appropriately. After the amount of these types of stories have piled up, it is becom...

I clearly remember my days in grade school whenever slavery came up. It was very emotional to see old photos of people who look like family members in chains and other forms of bondage. The main information from the lessons amounted to brief summaries of the human rights abuse, followed by Abraham Lincoln swooping in to save the day. While I appreciate the public school system, it left out a lot. One such historical event is Juneteenth. What's the significance of Juneteenth and why should it be nationally observed? Juneteenth  commemorates the day where slaves in Texas were finally told about the Emancipation Proclamation, two years after the fact! Lincoln announced the executive order in September 1862. It didn't go into effect until January 1863. Slaves in the former Confederacy were not officially freed until June 19, 1865! Even when they were legally freed, the government advised former slaves to continue to live and work for their former slave masters. As you can imagine...